


After All

by Elbeeinthewild



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complete, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Not Tiva, One Shot, Ziva is Still Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-18 20:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20319139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elbeeinthewild/pseuds/Elbeeinthewild
Summary: Three years after resigning from NCIS, Tony comes back to DC alone. Gibbs thinks he wants to know why. Tony's revelations are the last thing he expected.





	After All

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Yet another return to the endless well of discontent over the hot mess made of Tony's final season and departure from NCIS. Also, I hate that the show's writers are apparently so bereft of fresh ideas that they can't ever seem to let the dead stay dead. It's gotten to be an annoyingly repetitive theme as far as ratings gimmicks go.
> 
> Warnings: If you're a fan of the fairytale handed viewers at the end of season 13, to each their own. I'm not. This story is not Tiva friendly. The story also includes a canon-based, but somewhat unflattering depiction of Ziva in places, so again, fair warning.
> 
> Spoilers for S13.24 and minor references to other eps. Beta'd except I keep changing stuff after she reads it. OCD, ya know.

* * *

~Gibbs' House~

Gibbs stopped sanding and raised his head at the sound of soft footfalls on the floorboards above. He turned his attention back to the boat, hiding his shock when Tony appeared on the landing and descended the stairs. Tony took a seat near the bottom, just like he had so many times in the old days; happier days.

The younger man was a little thinner than he remembered, but looked well enough. He was dressed casually, but his body language was tense and he wore a serious, intent expression that set off an uneasy feeling in Gibbs' gut.

"I heard a rumor you were back," Gibbs began. "Have to admit, I'm a little surprised you're here."

"Here in DC, or here in your basement?" Tony asked.

"Well, both are unexpected. I don't imagine you'd be here if you planned to keep the reasons to yourself."

"Unexpected," Tony repeated. "Yeah," he huffed. _To say the least_, he thought. Tony stood and walked around, poking distractedly at things scattered on the shelves and tables.

Gibbs tossed the sander on the work bench and sat on the nearby stool. He watched his former SFA move around the room, apparently in no hurry to explain his sudden appearance after three years. He was more than a little curious.

"So how have you been?"

"I've been traveling; seeing the world and working on unscrewing my life," Tony said as he walked the length of the almost-finished Chickadee. He ran a hand over the smooth wood, and went on. "I've been on the road a long time now. Ready to stop," Tony offered enigmatically.

Gibbs frowned. That was concerning. He wondered what happened that Tony thought his life was screwed up. He figured he might be finding out. Tony had found the second stool and took a seat across from him, watching Gibbs expressionlessly.

"So…three years of world travel. How'd you manage to afford that after resigning?"

Tony flashed him a resentful look. "Contrary to what you may think, I am not an idiot or incapable of planning for my future. I'd been saving and investing for years. Investing very well as it happens; not that it's any of your damn business."

_Whew_. Whatever had happened, it made Tony unfriendly and prickly as hell. "I don't think you're an idiot, DiNozzo."

Tony chuckled, but it held more disbelief and sarcasm rather than humor. "No? Well you sure could've fooled me that last year."

"That why you're here?" Gibbs managed to look a little sheepish; maybe even a regretful. "The shooting affected me more than I let on and it got out of hand. You bore the brunt of that, and you didn't deserve it. It took a long time, but I got my head right."

Tony raised an eyebrow. That was almost an apology. Surprising, but unimportant. "Good for you. There's a lot of that going around," Tony said dismissively. "No, that's not why I'm here. _That_ doesn't matter any more."

"If not that, then what?" Gibbs asked, not entirely believing Tony when he said it didn't matter.

"Honestly, I've kinda lost interest in the reasons behind you being such an ass to me those last couple years. What matters is I miss aspects of my life here and I'm ready to get back to it. I still have friends in DC and at NCIS and I intend to take up with them again," Tony asserted. "This is a courtesy, if you will." His voice held a note of warning. "I'm letting you know I'll be around and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't put the others in the middle of any unresolved issues you may have about me."

"Alright," Gibbs agreed easily. "But there aren't any on my end. So what now; you coming back to NCIS?"

Tony looked at him pointedly and gave another one of those short sarcastic laughs. "Hardly."

Gibbs' brow furrowed at the thinly veiled insult. "What would be so bad about coming back to NCIS?"

"I didn't spend the last three years recovering from the fallout of dysfunctional relationships just to go back and put myself in a toxic environment again."

Gibbs was confused. What the hell was _that_ all about?

"What will you do, then?"

"I _do_ have options, Gibbs," Tony said derisively. "You really think I'm that much of a schmuck that I'd come crawling back asking for my old job? After the way you treated me? No thanks. The masters' in criminal justice that never seemed to count for much with you or Vance at NCIS is getting put to good use finally. I'll be teaching at Georgetown come fall."

"Teaching; dealing with students?" Gibbs asked doubtfully. "That's hard to imagine being something you'd do."

Tony rolled his eyes. Same old Gibbs, always ready to cut him off at the knees whether he realized it or not. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," he said curtly. "Dealing with you for 15 years taught me patience and tolerance. Taking care of a toddler took it to a whole new level. I'll deal with students and everything else just fine."

"And the kid? Where does she fit in?"

Tony scratched his head thoughtfully. Now, to get down to the business of opening Gibbs' eyes some. "I haven't seen her in a while. She's probably in kindergarten by now," he mused.

"You ditched your child?" Gibbs asked incredulously, his temper rising. "What the _hell_, DiNozzo?"

Tony spoke calmly in the face of Gibbs' sudden anger. "She's with family."

"What happened to you out there, Tony?" He thought back to Tony's earnest words that last time in the basement, when talking about the child he'd quickly become enchanted with. "What happened to '_I've never been anyone's everything before_'? You were scared, but happy about being family to that little girl," Gibbs shook his head in disbelief and disappointment. "I would have thought being a father would soften those rough edges."

"Are you kidding me?" Tony hissed furiously. "Maybe I'm a little bitter about being used; about having my heart and guts ripped out and stomped on by people who supposedly care about me. You were a real peach those last few months, Gibbs, but the _latest_ one took the cake."

"Latest one? I don't get it." There was nothing of the devil may care, eternal optimist Tony once was. He was cynical and angry…all hard edges and it wasn't just Gibbs' previous behavior toward him that made him that way. Something else had happened, but what?

"Why are you so angry and combative? What possible reason could you have for leaving your kid behind," Gibbs demanded.

"I'm going to explain this once, Gibbs, and get a few things off my chest. Not because I think I owe you a damn thing, but just so people don't believe I am the incredibly shallow asshole you seem to think I am right now."

"Tony," Gibbs spoke in an appeasing tone. "Stop dancing around it and _tell me_."

"Fine," Tony snapped. "For such an intelligent woman, Ziva's instincts when it came to men were crap."

"So what drew her to you?"

Tony blinked. "Wow, Gibbs. Shots fired, huh?"

Gibbs shook his head. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew Tony would take it that way.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant she maybe finally realized she could do better," Gibbs rushed to explain his question.

"I suppose I should take that as a compliment," Tony remarked dryly. "Were you paying attention _at all_ in those eight years she was with us, Gibbs? Two people were never more ill suited to be together than us, except maybe you and your exes."

Gibbs glared at the barb and Tony just gave him a toothy grin. There was no humor at all in his eyes as he continued.

"Sure…there was flirting, banter and more than a little mutual attraction. God knows I'm not without faults, but Ziva had a dark side she never lost. There was the secretiveness and inability to be honest with herself, or anyone else for very long. Some of her _banter_," Tony said, making air quotes around the word with his fingers, "had an unpleasant edge of cruelty. She could be selfish and manipulative, and that's a piss-poor foundation for a relationship. Do you really think all that would have worked out for me, with the trust and abandonment issues I have?"

"She loved you," Gibbs insisted, as if that wiped out everything Tony said. He knew Tony was right, but couldn't admit it to him.

Tony laughed and somehow, the brittle sound reminded him of breaking glass. "Love conquers all, huh? No, she loved the _idea_ of me; of having a man in her life that wasn't sick and twisted."

"You loved her too."

"No, I didn't love her," Tony disputed without hesitation. "But I cared enough, valued her enough to give her what she thought she needed and I would have kept on doing it. For the sake of our child. The child I _never_ would have known about if she hadn't got herself dead." Tony cocked his head and gave Gibbs a weighted stare. "Why _was_ that, do you think?"

"You've lost me, Tony. What are you getting at?"

"_Why _didn't she tell me?"

"I…" Gibbs paused awkwardly. He never really thought much about the why of it. "I don't know," he admitted finally.

"Really Gibbs; I have to wonder about those instincts and supposed powers of observation."

"You want to insult me, or explain?" Gibbs asked, not liking Tony putting him on the defensive. "You're Tali's family," Gibbs argued. "Or did you conveniently forget that so you could go back to old habits?" he asked, attempting a barb of his own.

"Ouch…that hurt," Tony replied mildy, not really bothered. Gibbs just didn't have the power to get under his skin any more. "Actually, I'm not her family, and that's why I wasn't told about her," he revealed.

"_What_?" Gibbs narrowed his eyes. "Are you denying you slept with Ziva now?"

"No, we did indeed have our one fond farewell. A first and last time," Tony confirmed. "Neither one of us was in a state of mind to show the best judgment in the world right then, and it shouldn't have happened," he grimaced. "It _did_ happen, but that doesn't make Tali my kid."

"Are you saying she isn't?"

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying" Tony said emphatically. "I'm going to let you in on some home truths about that replacement daughter you persist in keeping on a pedestal, while I'm getting crushed under its weight."

Gibbs could hear the betrayal in Tony's voice as he continued.

"For the second time, after I offered her _everything_," Tony said meaningfully, "she turned to Adam Eschel instead."

"Second time?" He wondered when the first might have been.

Tony saw the question in Gibbs' eyes. "The first time; after her father was killed. She was grieving, angry…vengeful. I would have done anything for her; anything to stop the train wreck that I could see coming. She went home to bury her father, and while she was there, turned to Eschel for help instead. Add in something a little more intimate than Mossad's help. The train wreck came a few months later. We both know how that turned out, thanks to everyone from McGee on up through you and Vance enabling her vigilantism."

"And the second time?" Gibbs asked, ignoring the accusation.

"After she refused to come back to Washington."

"So she stayed and took up with Eschel," Gibbs speculated. "What makes you certain enough he's the father that you felt comfortable leaving Ziva's kid with strangers?"

Tony gave Gibbs a hard look. "Still saving every benefit of the doubt for those replacement daughters, while always ready to think the worst of me, aren't you Gibbs? Do you want the whole damn story or not?"

"It's not that," Gibbs held up a placating hand. "Whatever happened, that little girl, _Ziva's_ little girl, is an innocent in all this. I'm just concerned about her welfare."

"You really think I _wasn't_? No, I didn't leave Ziva's kid with strangers. That's what Orli Elbaz did without verifying."

Gibbs' lips curled in distaste at the very thought of the duplicitous Mossad woman. "Okay…so what would Elbaz have to gain by doing that?" Gibbs asked, willing to go along with where Tony was leading.

"She presumed. It was easy to believe I was the father and no reason for her to think Ziva wasn't being truthful. I don't know exactly _why_ Ziva told Orli Elbaz I was the father, but I can guess."

"And we're back to the question; What makes you so sure she lied?" Gibbs asked.

"What makes _you_ so sure she didn't?" Tony shot back. "Its not like she hadn't done it before."

Gibbs sighed, thinking back on all the times she'd done exactly that. But this? "About something so important?"

"_Especially_ then. When it was about getting something she wanted, that was when Ziva was most likely to fall back on deceit."

"Something tells me you have more than speculation to go on," Gibbs guessed.

Tony gave a curt nod. "It didn't take much digging to find that Tali was born almost 11 months after I left Israel. The birth certificate Orli handed over was a forgery. If that weren't enough, a DNA test pretty much sealed the deal."

"Eschel." Gibbs said.

Tony nodded. "Like I said, Tali is with family. Adam Eschel's family."

"Not Eschel himself?" Gibbs asked, catching the distinction. "Why?"

"All that crap about finding herself, about giving up her happiness to redeem herself for Ari, because she took him away from his fiancé, was just that. Crap. Ziva didn't die in that farmhouse; she wasn't even there. She went back to Mossad, Gibbs, and she died on a mission."

"Who _did_ die in the house?"

"It was the nanny's body found in the house after Kort torched it. Everything from that point forward was all just more Mossad manipulation and covering their tracks."

Gibbs just stared at Tony speechlessly, unable to reconcile what he'd just been told.

"That's right. Everything we tried to save her from…everything we tried to teach her about family and having people in your life you could count on, it was all for _nothing_," Tony said, his voice a little desolate. "She loved the premise of that white picket fence life, but it wasn't in her to let herself live that life, not even when it was handed to her on a silver platter."

Gibbs was appalled. He needed to know how he could have been so wrong about someone he thought he knew. "How did you find out all this?"

"Investigator, Gibbs," Tony reminded. "And since you seem to have forgotten that fact, I'm a damn good one."

Gibbs nodded. "I haven't forgotten, and I believe you. So what's your guess as to the why?"

Tony shrugged. "I was convenient; reliable. I was a means to an end in case something happened to her, and she was self-aware enough to try to get her daughter away from Mossad's influence if something happened to her. I figure she knew I would have done right by her and Tali. As for Eschel, he got himself dead on that mission right along with Ziva."

Gibbs' head spun dizzily as everything he ever thought he knew about Ziva shifted and changed. He'd put his faith and belief in the wrong person; been almost willfully blind to their faults and not for the first time. He should have known better.

"For what its worth, Tony, I was wrong to doubt you. I think you're one of the few people I know who's never truly given me a reason to."

"Thanks," he said simply. Tony inclined his head with a small smile, accepting the peace offering. "I suppose I was a little in love with the idea of the fairytale for a while too; being a father, I mean. I don't regret a minute of the time I had with Tali but the Eschel family deserved the truth. I checked them out _thoroughly_. His parents were thrilled to learn that though they lost their son, they gained a granddaughter. She'll be well loved and cared for, Gibbs. I made sure of it."

Gibbs nodded in approval. "And you?"

"Now I can work to find a genuine 'happy ending' for myself, rather than a false one forced on me by deception and agendas. I was angry at her for a long time,” Tony admitted. “Too long.”

“But not now?”

Tony shook his head. “Pointless baggage that I'm trying to move on from. Some days are easier than others. Ziva was influenced and molded by monsters and Mossad for a very long time…Eschel, Cruz, and Rivkin, all the way back to her father and Ari. Ultimately, the idealistic little girl who dreamed of being a ballerina was buried so deep; she just couldn't overcome all that conditioning. You and I? In the end, we never really had a chance of changing it."

Tony was consoling _him_ now. He was bitter about what Ziva had done; who wouldn’t be? But he was glad to see Tony hadn't lost his empathy and optimism about his _own_ future in all this. Gibbs' voice was soft and sad as he agreed, "Yeah."

"Not even motherhood was enough to change her; not really. She may have cared about me in some indefinable way, but that wasn't enough. I was never going to be enough for her and I'm certainly not the guy that should be raising her kid."

"No," Gibbs replied. "I suppose you're not."

Tony sounded both melancholy and hopeful when he spoke again. "For now, I guess I have to wait a little longer to be someone's everything after all."

~End~


End file.
